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I recently have been involved in an ongoing thread of posting crazy/funny horse stories on “LinkedIn.” There is a group there called “Horse Lovers of the Business World.” Some of these stories made me laugh so hard! Others brought back funny memories of my own.
I thought I’d share some of these remembrances with you from time to time, and hopefully bring you a smile and/or a chuckle. The first is a true story from my life.
Gosh! Where to start? I guess I should get into the “Way back” machine and tell one of the first funny stories from my childhood. When I was about eight years old, I was an aspiring equestrienne. I took saddle-seat lessons from a crusty, old horseman who (I firmly believed) enjoyed watching his students in precarious positions. To this day, I’m sure he put me on Midget as a joke. Midgie was an off-the-track Standardbred trotter. Of course, here I am in my riding class when Ben calls us to trot! Off to the races we went! Midge didn’t have a regular trot in her DNA. So here we are zooming around all the other horses. (I’d pulled her to the inside “passing” lane.) Needless to say, I was posting like a maniac. Up, down, Up, down, Up… you get the picture. I was too young to curse, but I would have been had I known how. All of the sudden, the stallion out in the far pasture starts bellowing. Midge stopped dead in her tracks. She stopped. I didn’t. Off I flew in the most amazing arc. Luckily I was just a little kid, and had been taught that if I was going to fall (and all riders fall), think “sack of oats.” “A sack of oats never broke a bone.” After I picked myself up, I stomped over, grabbed Midget’s bridle, smacked her several times in the legs with my crop, and hauled myself up on her back before anyone could say or do anything. Funny thing, I gained some kind of respect for that from my instructor and I guess even old Midget. She never dumped me again. Oh, and I even got to ride some of the “better” horses for lessons on occasion.
From Sharen: “FLIGHT”
Choosing just one story to share is the hard part. I had purchased my first horse (yes he was beautiful and not what I needed). Montana was a 3 year old Belgian/Morgan cross, green broke, and full of himself. I was a new rider with only a year under my belt. What possessed me I have no idea. After weeks of working with him I was finally able to get off property and hit the trails. We were just coming up to the usual mucky area on the trail when he stopped dead. Head high, ears perked, and getting jumpier by the second. “Okay,” I thought. “This mud spot is going to be more of a challenge than usual.”
Encouraging him forward did not even budge his focus on what was causing this “FLIGHT” response. I knew I had to get him out of it or I was in for a real problem; he is one strong boy. Still thinking it’s the mud, I get real firm and, nope, he would not budge from his fixation. He then starts backing up which in itself is not unusual, but this time he backed into the bush. Now I am getting quite annoyed really mud should not cause this much problems; he is a scardy, cat too. Backed far enough into the bush I am effectively pinned to his back can’t get down to lead him, trees not even allowing me to get much of a kick in.
Then I see it “The Cyclist.” Oh my he hates them scary monsters. The trail is a good distance from the road so really!!!!! He now starts setting back on his haunches like a cat ready to spring on its prey; What the heck is he doing now I wonder.
As the cyclist approaches and goes by, Montana leaps out of the bush at it and gets off a little buck; that I was used to by now. He then starts to prance about and I turn him back up the trail. He went through everything after that with me laughing my head off.
He scared the “Evil Cyclist” off and now demonstrated the confidence to take on anything; mud, deer, dogs, etc.
From Mary: “America’s Freedom”
My guy’s name was America. He was a big, old, palomino quarter horse with an appetite for snacks and quite a sense of humor. I call this story America’s freedom!
We heat our home with wood so I get up in the middle of every night to reload the fireplace. I will admit that I do this in a half sleep daze! One night while I was putting wood in I thought that I heard Lady whinnying. I ignored it and finished what I was doing. I headed back to bed and heard it again so I turned on the front porch light and poked my head outside to see the paddock. I saw Lady standing there and everything looked fine so I shutoff the light and closed the door.
Lady starting making all kinds of ruckus so I put on my coat and boots and opened the side door which kicks on the yard light. There stood America in the driveway! I almost had a heart attack. I grabbed a pair of gloves and went out. He knocked over the grain bins and was eating. I looked to see if the gate was open and it was still latched. I opened it and put him back in.
I couldn’t understand how he escaped so I got the quad and started driving around the pasture with a flashlight. Picture the dark of night, in a nightgown, motoring around with a flashlight. At the far back corner the fence was knocked down with deer tracks running through it in the snow. After the deer knocked down the fence America was going to have a midnight snack! Good thing that Lady was so mad that he was out there without her, or else she probably would have never “told” on him! Needless to say all is safe and sound now. I was in a panic when this was all happening but now looking back on it I find it all quite comical.
From Joanne: Zip
My Paint gelding, Zip, loves to help around the place. When he was about 2, we were putting up gates and nailing fences, and he grabbed a hammer form the pile and swung it hard enough to hit the post we were nailing on. He was happy as a clam. We laughed and laughed. Then he hit my partner in the kneecap. I bought Zip his own tool caddie and gave him a couple of screwdrivers and a wrench, and he was the happiest subcontractor you’ll ever see. He’s 18 now and owns his own broom for sweeping in front of his stall (a clean aisle is a safe aisle, he always says) and has 22 tricks in his repertoire.
(I absolutely ADORE this horse and the stories Joanne has told. You would probably enjoy her blog as well! It is www.joannemfriedman.blogspot.com .
Did this remind you of some funny stories of your own? Please share them with us. They don’t have to be horse stories. If you’ve read my blog over the years, you know anything is fair game – Dogs, horses, cats, husbands (errr… Well, why not?), etc. Just post you story in the comment section below.